I’ve become so satisfied with my life lately.
I enjoy being single and having no care or stress. I love my friends and how they’re always there for me. I love my progression with music and my ability to create art in every genre. I love my mentality. I love my effort to work out every morning. My ability to have self control. My strength. I love this beautiful music I’m getting into. I love how open minded I am. How I’m nothing like my parents now (Even though I do love them.) Everything I own and how much I appreciate it all. My amazing new room :]. Getting myself back together. Work. My car. My Ipod. Everything. :]
Than realizing as every year passes. less likely you’ll know people from that high school. Until you are eventually unknown to anyone at that school, when at one point you knew them all. There will no longer be “hey do you know…?” or me visiting that school because of someone I know..
Sad. but true. :/
Fuck you all.
fuck the ones who I thought had things in common.
the ones who tried to get at my ex when we moved on.
fuck the ones I’d share my life with.
The ones i struggled to get in touch with.
When i needed you all most.
You ditched me.
But i built myself back up on my own.
Stronger than i was before, and stronger than you all will probably ever be.
and if you ever fall, I’ll be there to watch. Watch you attempt to do what i did.
Attempt and fail.
I just woke up from a nap that was roughly 3 hours long. Even though I was still tired I forced myself out of bed to both go on tumblr and play xbox. What’s strange is I open my tumblr to the most philosophical image I’ve seen in a while and Being I am me, My mind began racing; I’m also half asleep. So on top of being very inspired by that post, I’ve temporarily convinced myself I’ve fallen in love with someone I’m following. I’ve also seemed to misplace my xbox controller and my endeavors to find it i.e. scanning my room is obviously not working even though I continue to rescan the same area I’ve scanned before. There’s a fire in my head, (No, it’s not painful nor is it a head ache). I think It’s thought racing fast enough to cause friction. I’m actually enjoying this half dream reality. The only things that exist are what I know. But I do slowly catch reality finding itself again. SADLY :/
That’s when my day was ruined. A simple friend with a simple statement That’s when reality hit me. A simple person will always linger around my life somehow, whether it’s a text, a call, or someone mentioning you. There’s no escape. I am still bothered.
I get this feeling a lot. I wake up feeling out of sync with time; I’m in the wrong place at the wrong moment like i’m trying to squeeze myself in. it feels like time is too fast or too slow. My eyes can’t seem to find the right depth of objects in front of me; everything seems so distant like the wrong side of binoculars. My mind is cold and my body is Warm ( believe me it’s uncomfy). The sky is more grey than anything. Yeah, I hate today all ready.
I mean this doesn’t count.. I’m just pointing out it was an idea that I didn’t care about today. Possibly the next step to meeting someone knew? Wait.. I’m thinking about it now aren’t i?
Playing uncharted makes me want to talk like a witty middle aged white guy.